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U.S History

American history

Here's a little part of US history which makes you go h-m-m-m.
Have a history teacher explain this if they can?

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday, both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.  Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.  Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both  names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre called Kennedy.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called a 'Lincoln.'
Booth ran from a theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker.……….

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Monroe, Marilyn.


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The  two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a  new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very  highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The  first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of  that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red  and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the  one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,  'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

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The Internet, how it all began

In  ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham  Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com  was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was  often called Amazon Dot Com.

And Dot said unto Abraham, her  husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods  when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham  did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel  load, but simply said: "How, dear?" And Dot replied:  
"I will place  drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying  what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the  best price.  And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by  Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

And Abraham thought long and hard and  decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.  And the drums  rang out and they were an immediate success.  Abraham sold all the goods  he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To  prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were  saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.  It  was known as  Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a  language to transmit ideas and pictures:  Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And  the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly  take to camel dung.  They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich  Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish  with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one  noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum  dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the  land.  And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only  with Brother Gates' drum-heads and drum-sticks.

And Dot did say,  "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And  Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be  known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.  

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's  cousin Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK)  that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the  countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

And that Pilgrims, is how it all began.
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